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Confession time.  It’s been awhile since I’ve updated things over here on VGM Academy.  If I’m being honest, it’s because I’ve been suffering from major burnout that I’m just now starting to (slowly) recover from.  As such, I wanted to write a post about the topic because it’s something that happens a lot in the freelance world and there is plenty you can (usually) do to prevent burnout or, if necessary, bounce back from it.

But first, here’s what happened to me…

My Path to Burnout

I don’t mean to scare any would-be parents, but children are exhausting.  Our son is amazingly wonderful, but he’s also a particularly-attrociatious sleeper who usually wakes up every 90 minutes throughout the night (ugh) and is very high-energy throughout the day, which – for him – starts at 5am like clockwork.  I’m pretty sure he has a terrible case of FOMO and just hates the idea of being removed from the rest of the world to sleep.  About a year of sleep deprivation and an otherwise exhausting summer finally took their tolls on me and I started to crash both mentally and physically.  You can survive, but you cannot thrive without proper rest for your body and your mind.

In addition, I was hit with back-to-back events this summer that demanded a lot from me and my family.  At the end of June, I was winding down a school year with performances and then immediately drove the family down to Pennsylvania for my nephew’s 1st birthday.  In July, I was a full-time stay-at-home Dad – which was great, but way more demanding than I expected – and my wife and I had to scramble to find a last-minute replacement for our childcare provider while fitting in another couple road trips to see family in New Jersey and Rhode Island.  On August 1st, I was back to school full-time preparing a year’s worth of lessons and ordering materials for the return of my 500 students in mid-August while spending weekends preparing for our son’s first birthday party.

In short, I was very busy and very tired all summer.

Problem: No R&R or “Me” Time

Did I mention that I accidentally forgot how to relax and have fun during the past few months?  A couple of times, we had a grandparent intervene and watch the kiddo for a few hours at night.  Even when I wasn’t aiming to get work done, I would still fail because I couldn’t decide what to do with myself during my precious free time.  I would poke around on the internet wondering if I should write music (didn’t feel like it or couldn’t disturb the baby with the noise), watch TV (feels like a waste of time to me usually), or try to play video games (trying to redeem my copy of Mighty No. 9 was the hardest game ever).  Any of these options would’ve been OK, but I didn’t feel like I was up to doing any of them and I didn’t feel like they’d be fun or relaxing for me because of the mental space I was in.  The constant motion of caring for a child and preparing for a new school year (I’m a music teacher by day) meant that my brain could never disengage, and when you do that for long enough your brain needs to be retrained to disengage in order for you to relax.  With crappy sleep and no mental downtime to speak of, it was only a matter of time before I hit a wall.

It wasn’t until this past week, after a wonderfully successful first birthday party for our son had concluded, that the seemingly endless onslaught of to-dos and chores slowed down enough for my wife and I to catch our breath.  Happily, the weather also transitioned from pants-feel-sticky hot to absolute perfection at the same time and my wife and I started to spend time on the deck reading and enjoying the beautiful outdoors.  After spending a couple hours reading in peace and quiet, I realized that I didn’t remember the last time I had enjoyed peace and quiet.  You know, an actual BREAK.  It was immediately refreshing, and we made it a point to spend some time over the next three days reading on the deck or the couch – and I feel better already!

You can’t just work all the time without experiencing some sort of consequence, so make fun and relaxation a priority in life.  If it’s not a priority, it will easily get pushed to the wayside when everything else vies for your attention and time.  Schedule it out if you have to, barter with your spouse if you need help getting some time to yourself, or call on friends and family to give you a temporary reprieve so you can come up for air every now and then.

The Solution:

Treat breaks and fun things like a priority item in your life.  Literally schedule some “me” time, relaxation time, or hangout time with friends (if that’s relaxing for you) on the calendar if you find yourself using the “I don’t have any time” excuse.  Make time through preparation.

Problems: Unrealistic Expectations, and the Circle of Failure

During the *extremely rare, brief times* when I could focus on Video Game Music Academy, I was too crushed by exhaustion to keep focused and move forward.  This sucked for two reasons: first, I wasn’t getting anything done.  Second, I felt totally shitty about not getting anything done which just fed into the burnout even more.  Nobody feels ready to tackle their problems when they feel like they’re coming off of their latest failure, and this created a cycle of what I perceived to be small yet irrefutable failures.  Not good.

Additionally, I was going into my burnout period and my summer with very high expectations for myself and what I would accomplish.    I actually had an epic exciting plan/project in mind for the summer.  Unfortunately, due to my energy levels and availability my original expectations became unrealistic.  Maybe if I had been well rested, OR had more time, OR both it would’ve been more realistic to hold myself to those expectations.  But I wasn’t well rested and I didn’t have much time to work with.  When I had trouble meeting my own unrealistic expectations, I beat myself up over it, dragged my feet, and repeated the cycle which I’ve lovingly dubbed the “Circle of Failure.”

The Solution:

Reset your expectations, and be realistic with yourself about what you can and can’t accomplish given your current circumstances.  There’s no shame in acknowledging your limits, and most circumstances are only temporary.  If you’re beating yourself up a lot, talk through your downtrodden feelings with a trusted friend or spouse to make sure you’re being realistic.

Problem: Superhero Syndrome

Another common trap that freelancers and other humans fall into is “superhero syndrome,” which involves trying to take on everything yourself regardless of whether or not it’s a good idea.  The term was – to my best knowledge – coined by entrepreneur Chris Ducker, who runs a business helping entrepreneurs find and effectively use virtual assistants.  Still confused?  Here’s an example: You want to make a new concept album and sell it online for fun and profit.  In addition to the music, you need album artwork, a website or marketplace on which to sell the music, and you need to market the hell out of it.  Suddenly, you’re wearing playing several different roles in the success of your album whether or not you have the skills or time to do them well.

I understand that very few of us have the means to outsource all of these non-musical items, but passing one or two of them off might be a good idea.  You can write and produce the music easily enough because that’s totally in your wheelhouse.  But you’re not graphic artist, web designer, or marketer.  Maybe you have to do some of these, but can you – and should you – do all of them?  I feel like graphic design is one of those things that people just don’t “dabble” in, so if you’re not a hobbyist then you should be getting someone else to do it.  Pay for a design, commission one on 99designs.com, or trade/barter/hire someone off of the various online marketplaces that exist.  Don’t spend 4 times more than a specialist doing a job half as well as they can.  Your time is worth more than that.  As far as creating music goes, can you outsource part of your process in order to take on more work?  Working with an orchestrator, hiring someone to create rehearsal scores from your tracks, or sending your files off to someone else for the final mix are some of the many options.

If it’s a question of pride and feeling important that’s keeping you from relinquishing control, recognize this for what it is and loosen your grip where possible.  If you’re concerned about the expense you’d incur for outsourcing part of your work, do the math and I think you’ll find things working out in your favor at the end of the day.  If you consider your respectable hourly rate, and then consider how much time you’d spend building your own website when you have 1) no experience and 2) no interest in doing so, the opportunity cost for overspending your time on a website and yielding subpar results makes this the more expensive option as opposed to hiring someone else to do it for you.  In this case, the opportunity cost is whatever important activity you could’ve been doing instead of spending 10 hours on a website this week.  How many new prospects could you have met?  How many current clients could you have surprised and delighted by going above and beyond the call of duty?  Hell, how much more FUN could you have had doing non-work activities like playing video games or spending time with your family?  The options are many!

The Solution:

Create a list of 1) tasks that need to be done BY YOU, 2) tasks that need to be done BY SOMEONE (not necessarily you), and 3) tasks that do not necessarily NEED to get done.  Eliminate everything in the third list, delegate some or all of the second list to others, and double-check your first list to make sure that you really do need to personally have a hand in the items on that list.  Always consider the opportunity cost of activities that you could be doing if you weren’t otherwise occupied.

In Closing, What’s Next?

I’m getting back on the f**king VGM Academy horse – and I apologize for the unintended hiatus!  Here are some ways I’m going to help myself get back into the swing of things without getting crushed by life:

  1. I’m going to stop trying to write the next gigantic super-epic piece of content and start writing shorter, more frequent pieces of content for the time being.  This is especially true for music theory analysis pieces, which take a LOT of time to do well.  Instead of creating epic multi-lesson music theory posts, I’ll make more frequent single-lesson posts.  This will help avoid mental overwhelm while also giving me the opportunity to talk about a wider array of video game music.
  2. I’m going to focus on helping people, especially in the VGM Academy Facebook group, because it makes me happy to do so.
  3. I’ll open the door to more guest posts/content take to continue providing great content without needing to create it all myself.
  4. I’ll bring on 1-2 admins/moderators to help me manage the Facebook group so I’m not doing everything myself.  Interested?  Let me know.
  5. Finally, I’m going to give myself permission to hold off on any massive projects until I’m blissfully reunited with my old friend: REM sleep.  We used to have such good times…

Do you have a burnout story you’d like to share, or a way you avoid it or recover from it?  Share in the comments below!

 

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